Blood Tests
Three tubes of blood went in. A small database of results came back. I've since discovered they can take nine.
The Reluctant Patient
Laughter is the best medicine. Probably.
The Reluctant Patient
Laughter is the best medicine. Probably.
Medical Notes
Medical conversations often move quickly. These notes explain some of the medicines, tests, numbers and terminology I’ve encountered along the way – in plain English, from the patient’s side of the desk.
Blood Pressure
Two numbers that are surprisingly difficult to measure properly — and mine have an irritating habit of being too high.
Brolene
The doctor thought my sight might be in danger and handed me an urgent prescription for Brolene. Finding the right eye drops proved rather less straightforward.
Eye Infection
Red eye, sore eye, gunk coming out of it. “Eye infection” sounds straightforward enough. Unfortunately, eyes have other ideas.
Corneal Ulcer
I thought I had an eye infection. Then somebody who knew what they were looking at found I'd damaged the bit of the eye I actually see through.
Hearing Loss
There are lots of reasons why you might not be able to hear properly. Some are easily fixed. Some need rather more urgent attention.
Gout
Once known as the disease of kings. Now known as the reason even a bedsheet can become an instrument of torture.
NSAID
Painkillers that also tackle inflammation. NSAIDs became considerably more interesting when my foot decided to introduce me to gout.
Paracetamol
One of the most familiar painkillers in the medicine cupboard. Useful for pain and fever, but unlike ibuprofen, it isn't an anti-inflammatory.
Ibuprofen
Ibuprofen helped when gout made my foot spectacularly painful. Unfortunately, medicines have an irritating habit of interacting with other medicines.
Cholesterol
Even I noticed this one in the blood results. Unfortunately, “cholesterol” turned out to be several numbers rather than one.
Alcohol Units
Doctors keep asking how many units of alcohol I drink. It turns out “a pint” isn't actually an acceptable unit of measurement.
BMI
A number calculated from your height and weight that somehow manages to carry considerably more weight than the explanation that usually comes with it.