Solved: Not blindness. Just spectacularly bad contact lens hygiene.
This article is personal experience, not medical advice.
I couldn’t focus on the computer screen. In fact, I could hardly keep my eye open. I’m going to have take them out. As usual they were a bit of a bugger to get out, but I got the contact lenses out eventually, and put my glasses on. That didn’t help much. I couldn’t work. I messaged my boss and he agreed to let me have the rest of the day off so that I could get some eyedrops from Boots and hopefully be better tomorrow.
I wasn’t. It was about eight years since my temporary hearing loss, and I had moved to another town six years ago and still hadn’t registered with a local surgery. I got my COVID jabs – but only by going to the walk-in pop-up jab centres. And eyesight is blimmin’ important. Time to go to A&E.
My blood pressure was taken.
“Hmm. It’s a bit high.”
Yeah, I heard that one before. And I don’t know what that’s got to do with my eyesight.
I was then told I had to come back late afternoon to see the eye doctor. Or, rather, so that the eye doctor could see me.
When I went back, a nurse did an eye test. A wooden pair of glasses with one eye blocked off. I was asked to read the letters out on an illuminated screen across the room. I could see the screen, but nothing on it.
He then covered the glasses so that I was looking through pin holes. My heart missed a beat and I nearly went into shock.
“I can see!!!”
For nearly 36 hours I had thought I was blind, but now I had hope. This wasn’t going to be like the hearing loss where I didn’t know for months if my hearing would come back.
The nurse was bit bemused by my reaction. He told me to go back to the waiting room for the eye doctor.
It was already getting late and few people were left. Then a weary looking and sounding guy came out and called my name. This was a Weary Doc.
I stood up and went with him. He did a few tests, inspecting my eye and asked a few questions. Had I been on holiday to a third world country and been bathing in dirty water? His initial suspicion appears to have been that I’d been Blinded By The Shite. This was a Grumpy Doc.
The eye doctor didn’t mince his words. It was obvious to him that I had abused my contact lenses by leaving them in too long and not cleaning them. Result: eye infection and corneal ulcer. And I was at serious risk of losing my sight in one eye. This was an Angry Doc.
He then swivelled his chair and started touch-typing at his computer and near super-human speed and precision.
“I’m going to refer you to the Eye Clinic at Star Base Bravo. If they call you, you must go to them as they have better equipment than we do. Take these eye drops every hour. Same with these. You must also take Brolene eye drops. I don’t have any here, so I will give you a prescription. You must get these and start taking them every hour as well. It is imperative that you take these drops, otherwise you will lose your sight.”
My impression of him had change dramatically. This was a legendary EMH Mark I! I was in excellent hands.
He then admitted that what he was asking the impossible as I would need to sleep, but to resume treatment on waking.
I thanked him and walked out. The Waiting Room was empty – it was after 6pm. I stopped. Maybe I should turn his program off, otherwise he will still be grumpy tomorrow. I was about to go back, but then I heard . . . Singing? Was he singing . . . Opera? I listened more closely. Then I breathed a sigh of relief. It was Bohemian Rhapsody. Mind you, you haven’t heard Queen, until you’ve heard it in the original Muppet!
The following morning, I went straight to the nearest pharmacy – they didn’t stock it. Next nearest pharmacy couldn’t get it either. Next nearest was Boots – it wasn’t even on their stocklist! But they did suggest the next pharmacy that was on my list – and one of the others had recommended them as well. And they had it! It’s actually quite a big family run pharmacy across England, so I don’t mind saying that it is Kamsons.
That was good news – the hospital had phoned me before I even got to the first pharmacy setting an appointment for later that day, and I was fearing I might have to go out of town to get this prescription.
I got the Brolene drops, took them, and went to the hospital in time. Different eye doc. My eyesight had not changed. But it was less than 24 hours since I’d started having treatment and again I found the pinhole test reassuring, despite the EMH’s concerns from the previous day.
Later, I was in the pub. I was staring down at the beermat, when I noticed it. I closed my good eye. It was big writing and I’ve seen that beermat many times, but I was starting to make out shapes. This was my first sign of improvement.
Over the next month, I had hospital appointments virtually every other day and my eyesight improved. The bummer was that most days I didn’t know where or when the appointment would be until a few hours beforehand – and none of the hospitals I had to go to were near a train station. But most of them were my local hospital.
On what turned out to be my penultimate visit, I finally chose a local surgery. I’m getting close to 50 years old. It’s time to start taking my health seriously. I think I need an MoT. I Can See Clearly Now.
Hospital Radio
Today’s prescription: one carefully curated playlist. The connections aren’t always obvious . . .
- Blinded by The Light by Manfred Mann
- Star Trekkin’ by The Firm
- Bohemian Rhapsody by The Muppets ft Queen
- Suddenly I See by K T Tunstall
- I Can See Clearly Now by Jimmy Cliff
In the Waiting Room
Film and TV Guide
- Star Trek: Voyager
- Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country