Monty Python’s Life of Brian (1979)

He’s not a medical professional. He’s a very naughty boy.

To be honest, I’m not a great fan of Monty Python.

But Life of Brian is almost biblical.

It’s full of quotable comedy scenes and, for whatever reason, hits exactly the right spot for me.

Brian’s life runs parallel to that of a rather more famous person, born in the stable next door. Brian is repeatedly mistaken for the Messiah — starting at birth, when he is visited by three wise men.

Obviously not that wise, because they’ve got the wrong stable.

Once they realise their mistake, they return to reclaim the gold, frankincense and myrrh.

Two scenes in particular stick out for The Reluctant Patient.

What have the Romans ever done for us?

The People’s Front of Judea are discussing everything they hate about the Roman occupation when Reg asks what should really be a rhetorical question:

“What have the Romans ever done for us?”

Unfortunately, his comrades have answers.

The aqueduct.

Sanitation.

Roads.

Irrigation.

Medicine.

Education.

Public baths.

Fresh water.

Public health.

Reg’s list of things the Romans haven’t done for them is rapidly becoming a fairly comprehensive list of things the Romans have done for them.

But apart from all that, what have the Romans ever done for us?

Given us gout?

Possibly.

For centuries, gout acquired associations with wealth, overindulgence and drinking. But its history goes back considerably further — including to the Romans.

So if you’ve arrived here from the Medical Note on gout, now you know why the Romans got dragged into it.

He’s a very naughty boy

Later in the film, Brian spends the night with Judith at his mother’s house.

Unfortunately, a large crowd has followed him home because they believe he is the Messiah.

His mother, Mandy, sticks her head out of the window to find out what they want.

They want the Messiah.

There isn’t a Messiah in there, she tells them. There is a mess, but no Messiah.

And then comes one of the best-known lines in British comedy:

“He’s not the Messiah. He’s a very naughty boy!”

And so is The Reluctant Patient.

Eventually, Brian is allowed to address his followers.

He tries to explain that they shouldn’t be following him — or anybody else. They need to think for themselves. They’re individuals.

The crowd enthusiastically agrees, in unison, that they are all individuals.

Brian tells them they’re all different.

Again, they agree in unison.

Except for one lone voice:

“I’m not.”

And there’s actually a fairly important point lurking amongst the silliness.

The Reluctant Patient isn’t the Messiah either.

These are my experiences. They’re what happened to me, what I thought about them and, quite often, what I got wrong along the way.

Your symptoms might look remarkably like mine and turn out to be something completely different. Something that worked for me might be entirely inappropriate for you.

So don’t follow The Reluctant Patient.

That’s what medical professionals are for.

But there is one bit of Brian’s advice worth following:

Think for yourself.

Pay attention to your own health. Ask questions. Find out what is happening to you. Make your own decisions with proper medical advice.

You’ve got to work it out for yourself.

Exactly.

There is one other thing Life of Brian and The Reluctant Patient have in common.

Things aren’t looking particularly good for Brian by the end of the film. In fact, he’s been crucified.

And yet the film ends with perhaps its most famous song: Always Look on the Bright Side of Life.

That’s probably not bad advice for The Reluctant Patient either.

Just don’t try to diagnose yourself from a comedy film about a man who isn’t the Messiah.

From the Case Files